Johnny promises you security

Johnny promises you security. It's that simple.

Some sceptics may say that security cannot be so easily guaranteed, but for them, Johnny has news: Safety and contentment can be gained with five simple words.

"...then the terrorists have won."

Go on, try it for yourself.

Pick something you hate or don't understand: youth culture; modern music; brown people, and append it with "... then the terrorists have won."

Let's try an example:

If you... oh, let's say, eat meat on a Friday: then the terrorists have won.

And again:

If you... vote Democrat: then the terrorists have won.

And so on.

Doesn't that feel good? Five little words that can be added onto the end of any sentence to make you feel like you're right. Your views aren't just the narrow minded bigotry of a reactionary uneducated redneck, they're not just the mindless bleating of a pathetic bully blocking his ears and repeating the anthem in a desperate attempt to believe his own hegemonic lies. No - You're fighting terrorism. You are directly responsible for combating Osama Hussein, Mad Sheik of Saudi-Iranistan. Every time you call someone of Arabic decent a sand-nigger; every time you yell "Fuck off Osama!" at an Indian Sikh; every time you beat the hell out of someone for looking at you like a fag... Every time you do these things, you are protecting America from the terrorist threat. You're not a jingoistic zealot - You're a hero!

If you don’t vote for Johnny the Red, then the terrorists have won.