Monday, November 03, 2008

Johnny shares the love

Johnny the Red, the sexiest presidential candidate ever to wear a cocktail dress in the privacy of his own living room, has been considering the vitally important issue of Racism.

Quite frankly he couldn't give a fuck.

Whether you're an ahab, an adolf, an alabama blue gum, amo, argie, abbo, a beaner, Biffo, bluenose, bogan, bob-irish, bohunk, boonie, caker, charlie, chav, chink, clog wog, coconut, coon, cracker, culchie, dago, dogun, flapdragon, fritz, or frog; a dirty, stinking ginzo, a gollywog, a goober, gook, goomba, goreh, goy, greaseball, gringo, guinea, gweilo, gypo, hillbilly, honky, horse, hoser, husky, ikey, or irvingite; a fat, hornswoggling jackeen, a jatt, a jerry, a jim fish, a goddamn jock, kaffir, kike, kimchi, ladino, lebo, limey, makak, marrano, meatball, merkin, mick, moon cricket, or a monged ned; even if you're a newfie, a nig-nog, a nigger, nip, noggy, ocker, ofay, oreo, paddy or paki, a panhead, a papist, a parisite, a payo or peckerwood; a porch-mokey, pima, a porridge wog or a proddy; a raghead, ragtop, rasta, redneck or a rhineland bastard; a syphilitic crack-whore of a roman, a roundeye, sand-nigger, a sandgroper, a sawney, scouser, skip, slope, snowback, sootie, spaghetti-nigger, spic, spook or swamp yankee; a leperous taffy, taig, teapot, tinker, towelhead or twinky; a wetback, wigger, wog, yop or zhid - Johnny doesn't care one whit.

Because Johnny despises you all equally. But as long as he needs someone work down at the mine, press his shirts, and jerk-off in his coffee, Johnny will keep you safe from anyone who might harm you.*

... except Polacks. Johnny fucking hates Polacks.

* This, of course, is assuming you vote for Johnny. If you don't vote for Johnny the last thing you should be worrying about is someone calling you fricking names, you damn Welsh pansy.

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