Saturday, October 25, 2008

Hunting big game

Johnny the Red often finds himself asked, by unscrupulous journalists, about the remarkable number of his "business associates" who have died in mysterious "hunting accidents." Johnny's response to these questions has always been consistent and unequivocal.

"What accidents?"

However, this does bring up another important question. Hunting is a sport - and a lifestyle - that is close to the hearts of many Americans. Many of them want to know: "What is Johnny's stand on hunting?"

Johnny has never seen a bear, a deer or a rabbit use a gun, and just doesn't see the sport in hunting anything that can't shoot back. Still, if that's what makes you happy, he feels you should go right ahead.

Though, if you're wise, you should probably do it someplace Johnny isn't, because when Johnny shoots you in the face, it won't be with bird shot.

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