When cloning is outlawed, only outlaws will have clones...

People have asked what Johnny’s attitude to genetic engineering is.

He’s for it.

Alarmists, conspiracy theorists and hippies have presented a skewed idea of what genetic engineering is; a scare-mongering idea. All GE actually is, is selective mixing of genetic material, which, objectively, is not a bad thing.

Eight thousand years ago, the inhabitants of Thailand domesticated the majestic Red Jungle Fowl for use in religious ceremonies. They started to selectively breed the larger birds to create a food-animal, resulting in a slightly less majestic, but meatier bird. These days, we call that bird the chicken.

That’s right; chickens were genetically engineered. Does that blow your mind, hippy? But no one could argue that chickens are unnatural, could they?

And almost nine thousand years ago, inhabitants of the area now known as Turkey sowed and re-sowed specific strains of wild grass, specifically selecting mutations with tough ears that were edible and could more easily survive the cultivation process. These days we call this mutant grass wheat.

That’s right; wheat was genetically engineered. Does that blow your mind, pinko? But no one could argue that wheat is unnatural, could they?

And in the closing days of the twentieth century, Johnny the Red came into possession of some ex-Nazi cloning technology, and, combining the choicest DNA from history’s worst war criminals; most attractive seductresses; and most sadistic prostitutes, grew himself a companion. These days, we call that vat-grown concubine Ilsa: She-Wolf of Johnny’s Pants.

That’s right; Ilsa was genetically engineered. Does that blow your mind, comrade? But no one could argue that Ilsa is unnatural, could they? (Unless, of course, they knew about her predilections involving farm animals, the corpses of politicians, and Johnny wearing a ball-gag and harness of Ilsa’s own design. Then the argument would be pretty straightforward.)