Pundits, political commentators, and people who don’t know when to mind their own business in general have been asking recently: exactly why exactly does Johnny the Red want to be President?
Growing up, total hegemonic domination was a childhood dream of Mr. the Red, but he could never decide how best to go about it. At first he planned to make some long-term investments, then go into a death-like trance for 200 years, awaking as the all-powerful financial ruler of the world. But frankly, who has that kind of time?
Option two was to declare war on the world, and attempt, by force of arms, to conquer all of the peace loving sovereign nations of the Earth. However, in consultation with his advisers, Johnny realised that he might not be guaranteed a victory.
Option three was become President of the United States of America. It’s essentially the same as option two, but with the backing of the largest and most powerful military and industrial complex in the world.
Friday, October 17, 2008
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