The true genius of the glorious American political system is not that we gave you democracy - it is that we gave you too much democracy.
In this country you can vote for anything. You always have the power and the choice. We made every position of even the tiniest consequence an elected one. You can always choose. And so, you don't.
No, instead, you sit at home on your couch and complain. You complain about everything they do. But you will not get up off your couch and vote.
This is a lesson that McDonalds learnt. You complained that their food wasn't healthy enough, and so they offered you healthier food. You didn't buy it, because you never really wanted healthy food. So now, instead of offering you healthier food, they produce ads saying that their food is healthy.
You never wanted healthy food. You just wanted someone to tell you it was okay to eat hamburgers.
You don't want change; you want the illusion of change. That is why we gave you too much choice. You want us to tell you that you are free because that way you can relax and enjoy your slavery.
So come election day, stay on your couch. Let Johnny and his corporate friends take care of democracy for you. It's really too much trouble, and you'll be much happier on the couch.
Johnny promises to give you exactly what you want - more of the same - and to tell you that it's something new and better.